Getting married soon and wanting to know how you can best prepare yourself for marriage? We’ve got you, sis.
As a newlywed myself (married for about a year and a half now), I can tell you the IMPORTANCE of some of the things I was taught before I got married… things I am SO GLAD I knew ahead of time! As well as some things I learned in my first year that I WISH I’d known ahead of time.
This post is going to give you the absolute most important things you need to know to be prepared for marriage so that you can walk confidently down the aisle, knowing it’s going to be amazing!
This post is all about ways to prepare for marriage.
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From the Desk of: Sydney Rhodes.
Most Important Ways to Prepare for Marriage
How to Prepare for Marriage Spiritually
- Set a daily time to meet with God. — There is absolutely no better time to do this than when you’re preparing for marriage. Not only will God grow and change you into the wife you need to be during this time, but it’s also easier to stay in the habit once you’re married… if you’re already in the habit ahead of time.
- Start learning what the Bible says about being a wife. — This goes hand-in-hand with the first tip. Making that time each day to read your Bible and learn who God calls us to be as wives will absolutely make your marriage so much better. A devotional like this one can help majorly!
- Get in the habit of praying regularly. — That way when you get married (and may very well be more busy) you’ll already be a praying wife and won’t have to think about creating a new habit. Make sure to pray for your fiancé as well!
- Never even mention the “d word.” — Make this a “rule” between you and your fiancé. Divorce isn’t an option so we’ll never even mention the word. Period.
- Start spending time with other married couples you aspire to be like! — The Bible tells us that if we “walk with the wise, we will become wise.” If you and your fiancé don’t already have a godly couple or two that you’re close with, pray for that.
- Read a few books to prepare for marriage. — When it comes to marriage, you cannot know enough! Every ounce of wisdom you can soak up will only make your marriage that much more wonderful. 🙂
How to Prepare for Marriage Physically
- Get in shape. — You’ll feel so much more confident in your marriage if you feel good about your body.
- Decide who’s going to do what around the house. — This is HUGE! If this isn’t discussed ahead of time, then either of you may end up with unmet expectations, which can be a big contributing factor to arguments. Divide up the responsibilities before you move in together so that there’s no reason for either of you to get annoyed once you do.
- Start preparing to engage in intimacy regularly. — Here’s the thing with marriage… Your body now belongs to your spouse, equally as it belongs to you. And even when you may not necessarily be in the mood for intimacy, doesn’t mean your husband won’t be. Start preparing in your mind to be intimate even when you’re tired or not really in the mood.
- Decide on birth control options (if any.) — Whether you’re going to get on the pill or another form of contraceptive, make sure this is decided on months in advance because birth control can take over 3 months to get in your system fully.
- Order some attractive sleeping outfits or lingerie. — Not that you have to always look nice, but you’ll find that oftentimes in marriage it’ll make you feel really good about yourself when you know you’re dressing a little more attractively for your husband… And he’ll like it too! ?
- Create good self-hygiene habits so you can feel appealing to your husband even without makeup or your hair done, etc.
How to Prepare for Marriage Emotionally
- Be prepared to fight. — Yep, I said it. Because I love you. And I don’t say this to give you an excuse TO fight. I tell you this because when fights do come, I don’t want you to think that you made a mistake by getting married or that it isn’t normally. Fighting (especially your first year of marriage) IS completely normal.
- Attend premarital counseling. — Yes, it is ABSOLUTELY worth it! My husband and I learned so much from Andy Savage about cooperating together that we are so glad we knew in advance. Knowing all that we learned in premarital counseling kept A LOT of arguments from ever even happening.
- Start saying “we” instead of me. — When you’re married, things don’t revolve around just you any longer. Everything you do affects both you and your spouse. You have to start thinking about BOTH of your needs and desires, and switching your “me’s” to “we’s” will get you in the mindset of that.
- Start learning what the Bible says about being selfless. — It’s going to take a lot of giving up your own desires for the other person’s in marriage.
- Get in the habit of sharing how you feel about things with your soon-to-be spouse. — So many marriages carry constant tension because one (or both) of the partners won’t speak their mind, but instead, they hold things in and let resentment build up. This is why it’s SO important to share with your husband when something is bothering you. Get used to getting it all out on the table.
- Get in the habit of letting small things go. — Although you want to share when things are bothering you, there are many things that can be overlooked. For example: if your husband is normally really good about keeping his things picked up around the house, then the one time he leaves dirty dishes in the sink after a long day, give him a break and don’t say anything about it.
- Learn each others’ love languages and “speak” them daily! — SO IMPORTANT. God made us all to receive love differently, and if we aren’t shown love in the way we personally need it, it can be very tough on your marriage.
How to Prepare for Marriage Financially
- Decide how you’re going to combine your finances. — Who’s bank account will you use or will you open a complete new one? What savings accounts and investments do you have? You’ll need to get each others’ names added to those accounts.
- Determine a good budget for your marriage. — Having this set in stone will prevent you from SO many arguments! A recent study shows that 22% of divorces are due to financial stress. This doesn’t have to be you if you lay everything out ahead of time! ☺️
- Talk about whether you want kids and if so, how many. — (Not necessarily a financial preparation, but kids do cost a lot of money!) You definitely want to make sure you’re on the same track with this that way there are no unmet expectations once you’re married.
We pray this post about how to prepare for marriage truly blesses your marriage abundantly!